Memories Rolling Down My Cheeks

Today, I face something that I have been both excited about and dreading.  Today, I leave Will at school.  Today is the day he begins to test his own wings.

Of course, for the past few days, I have been so nostalgic.  Being nostalgic and trying not to sob is an almost impossible task, but for the most part I’ve managed.  I think its important for me to be strong for Will because he needs to be strong as he embarks on this new journey. 

I’ve been thinking about when I first met him, a crying baby looking at me for the first time…the laughing toddler who loved to watch Winnie the Pooh and Blues Clues…the little boy who liked to make faces at me when I filled the gas tank…the moment when we were the only two people on the monorail at Disney…the basketball player who tackled someone in his first game…so many wonderful memories.

But, as wonderful as they are, I wouldn’t go back because I would miss the Will I have today too much.  He has a wicked sense of humor and never fails to make me giggle even when I am mad about something.  We enjoy watching the same shows, although I have a lot of show watching to catch up with him.  He cares so deeply about others.  He has spent the past 24 hours worried not only about his friend who broke 17 bones in a car accident, but truly worried about how his other friends are handling their worry, especially this boy’s brother who just left for college too.

I have always loved each “stage” of my children, and I know that I will love this new stage as well. It will be hard not to see him everyday.  And yes, I am going to miss him terribly.  Still, I am excited about discovering, right along with Will, just who he will be.  I am so incredibly proud. 

So today, as my good friend Stacey says, I am taking out my heart.  I will get through this move in experience, and then, I’ll put my heart back.  I will keep thinking of how lucky we are to be at this stage in life.  I will keep thinking of how proud I am of Will for getting into his first choice college.  I am happy.  Still, I know there will be a few tears because, as Andrew Guzaldo so eloquently phrased it, “sometimes memories sneak out of my eyes and roll down my cheeks.”

First Day of School…FINALLY!

Two weeks ago, I was dreading going back to school. I had been lulled into the luxury of lazy summer life. Not that I had a lazy summer, mind you, but summer busy is on my terms with no deadlines. The thought of setting the alarm always looms over me in August even though every day I will wake at least 10 minutes before the alarm sounds.

The beginning of a teacher’s school year is so busy. Everyday there is another meeting or training. No matter how important or worthy, I just want my kids. There is so much anxiety about getting to know your kids, wondering what they will be like, and anticipating how the year will go.

Then there is orientation. I think orientation is great for the students, but it always makes me feel a little unsettled as a teacher, especially now that I am teaching seventh grade. It’s weird to see the kids that I bonded with the year before. I want to talk to them and hear about their summers, but they are in eighth grade now and busy with their new teachers. It’s one of those bittersweet moments.

Today, however, was my first real day of school. I couldn’t sleep last night because I was excited and nervous. Would my lesson work? How is the iPad thing going to go? Will I remember their names? I am happy to say that today, it worked! The iPads had a few glitches but the lesson worked and the kids really seemed to enjoy using them. I even remembered their names! Most importantly, I had just a wonderful day with my students. We laughed! We explored! We learned! And, I think we began to bond a little.

Today, these new seventh graders finally became “my” kids, and I couldn’t be more excited about the year to come!