Today, I face something that I have been both excited about and dreading. Today, I leave Will at school. Today is the day he begins to test his own wings.
Of course, for the past few days, I have been so nostalgic. Being nostalgic and trying not to sob is an almost impossible task, but for the most part I’ve managed. I think its important for me to be strong for Will because he needs to be strong as he embarks on this new journey.
I’ve been thinking about when I first met him, a crying baby looking at me for the first time…the laughing toddler who loved to watch Winnie the Pooh and Blues Clues…the little boy who liked to make faces at me when I filled the gas tank…the moment when we were the only two people on the monorail at Disney…the basketball player who tackled someone in his first game…so many wonderful memories.
But, as wonderful as they are, I wouldn’t go back because I would miss the Will I have today too much. He has a wicked sense of humor and never fails to make me giggle even when I am mad about something. We enjoy watching the same shows, although I have a lot of show watching to catch up with him. He cares so deeply about others. He has spent the past 24 hours worried not only about his friend who broke 17 bones in a car accident, but truly worried about how his other friends are handling their worry, especially this boy’s brother who just left for college too.
I have always loved each “stage” of my children, and I know that I will love this new stage as well. It will be hard not to see him everyday. And yes, I am going to miss him terribly. Still, I am excited about discovering, right along with Will, just who he will be. I am so incredibly proud.
So today, as my good friend Stacey says, I am taking out my heart. I will get through this move in experience, and then, I’ll put my heart back. I will keep thinking of how lucky we are to be at this stage in life. I will keep thinking of how proud I am of Will for getting into his first choice college. I am happy. Still, I know there will be a few tears because, as Andrew Guzaldo so eloquently phrased it, “sometimes memories sneak out of my eyes and roll down my cheeks.”